Remember when Rachel Maddow of MSNBC, along with Rep. Adam Schiff and the entire Democrat Party, spent two years lecturing us that we were all blind, and that the Russian collusion was right in front of our eyes? They’d spaz out on TV every night and tell us, “It’s right there! Russian hookers, corrupt oligarchs, cash changing hands… Why don’t you idiots believe us!” Well, it turns out that they were right, and we were wrong. There was a bunch of Russian collusion, Russian hookers, bribes, corruption, shady oligarchs and more! The only problem was that they were looking at the Trump family while making those accusations when they should have been looking at the Biden family.
A joint investigation by the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee and the Senate Finance Committee has released its long-awaited report titled, “Hunter Biden, Burisma, and Corruption: The Impact on US Government Policy and Related Concerns.” It probably won’t be a bestseller with that title, but you can read the full report HERE.
If Hunter Biden’s name sounds familiar, that’s because I’ve written extensively in the past about this gentleman’s amazing adventures. Like the time just a few days before the 2016 election when Hunter rented a car in Los Angeles and drove out into the Arizona desert, to spend a few days with “world renowned colon hydro-therapist” Puma St. Angel.
Ms. St. Angel charges Hollywood stars and other Democrat elitists gobs of money to do hippie campfire dancing with her in an Indian teepee while she stuffs things in their derrieres. (Proving that the elites are just like you and me!) Naturally, her teepee is also a “drug rehab” facility.
After a weekend of cosplaying as a Thanksgiving turkey in Puma’s teepee, Hunter Biden returned his rental car. But… he accidentally left his iPhone, his credit cards, his dead brother’s ID and a crack pipe in the front seat. Oops.
The Yuma, AZ police department didn’t end up charging Hunter with a crime because all of the crack in the pipe had been smoked, so they couldn’t bust him for possession. It also probably helped that the police realized that Hunter Biden was Joe Biden’s son.
But Hunter had a good reason for all of this! You see, he was using his dead brother’s ID to check himself into teepee dancing rehab because he was dodging a paternity lawsuit from a Washington, DC stripper that he had impregnated.
I know what you’re thinking: Everything about this sophisticated man of mystery’s resumé screams NATURAL GAS EXPERT!
Fast forward to today, and the joint Senate committees’ report states that Hunter Biden was not only raking in $50,000 to $80,000 a month from Ukrainian gas company Burisma, but was also:
- Receiving a $3.5 million cash “consulting” fee from the wife of a Moscow (Russian) mayor who was later fired by Vladimir Putin for corruption. The cash was wired through a series of shell companies;
- Taking an additional $400,000 payment from the same corrupt mayor’s wife through a different shell company;
- Making direct cash payments to Russian nationals in the US who are on a watchlist because they’re suspected of human trafficking and prostitution;
- Taking a $142,000 cash payment from a Kazakh oligarch through yet another shell company while his father, the Vice President of the United States, was at a meeting with the oligarch in Ukraine; a note on the transaction says it was “for a car;”
- And raking in $4.8 billion from the Communist Party in China through a convoluted scheme with a state-owned Chinese broadcasting company.
This is obviously an election-year stunt and a partisan witch hunt against globetrotting adventurer and man-of-culture Hunter Biden, carried out by Trump cultists in the US Senate. At least, that’s according to Senator Mitt “Pierre Delecto” Romney, who curiously has a former aide that also sits on the board of Burisma.
Romney says that investigating the more than (HOLY COW) $5 BILLION WITH A ‘B’ DOLLARS in cash payments that Hunter Biden procured while his dad, the Vice President, was meeting with leaders in those corrupt foreign nations falls “outside the legitimate role of government.” Sounds like someone needs a trip to the teepee!
The Mueller investigation spent years trying to find a single person associated with the Trump campaign who might have taken a single nickel from someone in Russia. They never found anything. They were so intent on proving Trump guilty that one person went to jail for leaking Treasury Department reports to the media – and they still found no proof, ever, anywhere.
But here we have direct evidence of Joe Biden’s son taking cash payments from Russia, China, Ukraine and Kazakhstan. Will we be seeing a new Special Counsel investigation appointed anytime soon? Or will permanent Washington try to sweep it under the rug?