The most dull, boring, stultifying, suicide-inducing Democrat National Convention is finally over. It was like H-E-double-hockey-sticks on earth while it lasted. It was like a soccer match – but with Michelle Obama lecturing you at the same time! And boy, are we ever excited to bring you more a recap of this boring event that no one watched. We didn’t watch it either, of course, and now we can prove it!
One of the biggest disasters of the Democrats’ nominating convention this year, which they should have seen coming a mile away, is that no one can lie about the online viewership numbers. If they were holding a live televised convention, they could totally lie to the American people about how many viewers are tuning in for this Schiff-show.
“The Joementum and No Malarkey excitement is palpable as 43 gajillion people tune in to watch the most amazing show on earth, folks! Record viewership for the 2020 convention to see the man – no – the LEGEND Joe Biden, who will finally end our nation’s big orange nightmare of peace and prosperity!”
Television ratings have always been a little bit loosey-goosey and ubiquitous. How would we possibly know if they were lying to us about the ratings?
But with an internet-only, livestreamed convention… we know exactly how many people are tuning in to watch the show. Any guesses as to how many people tuned in to watch Michelle Obama, John Kasich and the other Day 1 “heavy hitters” of the Democrat Party?
One-thousand, seven-hundred and change. Out of 7 billion people on earth and 330 million people in US, the Democrats managed to lure a grand total of 1,700 live viewers during their biggest speech of the night. That’s pretty much just reporters watching the convention. There are 1,400 daily newspapers left in America – and that must have been the bulk of the audience for this exciting convention. That 1,700 was the peak number that tuned in for the big pre-taped Michelle Obama speech.
Teenagers who pop their pimples on Instagram livestreams draw more viewers on a daily basis than the 2020 Democrat National Convention. That’s not an exaggeration.
This is a disaster. If the mainstream media no longer existed (oh, how I pray for that day to come!), Donald Trump would effectively be running unopposed in 2020. The Biden/Harris ticket is supposedly leading Trump/Pence by 12 points in the latest ABC News poll. Does anyone believe that is even vaguely possible at this point, given that the Democrats can only get 0.000005% of the nation’s population to log in for their biggest event of the year?
Groups that livestream Trump campaign events are raking in $50,000 to $75,000 a night, from viewers chipping in $1 to $5 apiece for providing the service. The smallest Trump campaign livestreams pull in a minimum of 100,000 viewers each. Every. Single. Time. And that’s despite the fact that a lot of us are mad at him for various Jared Kushner-related reasons which we won’t be discussing until November 4th.
The Democrats have to know they’re doomed at this point. Which is making me rethink the media narrative about the whole vetting process that settled on Kamala Harris. What if Harris wasn’t actually the cream of the crop among the potential VP running mates for Biden? Is it possible that everyone else turned Biden down after they saw the Democrats’ internal polling numbers and realized that this was just a sacrificial lamb year for their party? What if all the other black women like Stacy Abrams, Gretchen Whitmer and Elizabeth Warren turned the job down?
Now, that would be funny! Joe Biden couldn’t convince Stacy Abrams to jump on board his flaming bag of doggy doo, so he had to settle for the floozy from Frisco.
From my perspective, this is the greatest Democrat National Convention of all time. On Day 1, we had Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman-Schultz being accused of battering a child who was volunteering for her primary opponent’s campaign. On Day 2, here comes Bill Clinton!
Is that Bill Clinton receiving a neck massage from one of pedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s trafficking victims while on a trip to Africa in 2002? Why, yes. Yes, it is.
On the night when Bill Clinton is slated to speak at the 2020 convention, the Daily Mail in London, operated by managing editor Piers Morgan (a well-known Trump colleague and friend, hahahahahahahahahahahaha!) drops a bombshell, never-before-seen photo of Bill Clinton receiving a massage from one of Jeffrey Epstein’s accusers.
Best. Convention. Ever. Joe and Kamala have this one in the bag.