The race to become Joe Biden’s VP running mate has just intensified. Basement Joe has announced that he will only select a woman to run by his side against Donald Trump. As a result, the women who really want to be Creepy Joe’s VP are becoming more and more cutthroat in their approach to clamping down on Americans who want to go outside right now. So, who’s it going to be?
Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot? She’s definitely in the running with her threats to arrest people for daring to go outside. Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer? The Karen-in-Chief banned fishing and garden planting, after all. Maine Governor Janet Mills? Too wimpy. She started to back down from her totalitarian lock-everyone-down-forever plan after Tucker Carlson said mean things about her on TV.
No. Those ladies are all Nazi lightweights when it comes to the newest challenger. The meanest woman on the planet has now decided to top all of the draconian shutdown measures of the others. She really wants to be Joe Biden’s VP nominee, and she’s going to prove it by turning her state into North Korea. Who is this shrill, freedom-hating harridan?
The Governor of California: Nancy Pelosi’s Nephew, Gavin Newsom.
I know what you’re thinking. “I thought that was a dude!” If you think Nancy Pelosi’s Nephew is not a woman, then you really don’t understand Democrat Party gender science.
Democrats believe that just because you have a penis, it doesn’t mean you aren’t still a woman.
Ever since Donald Trump became the Greatest President Ever in January of 2017, the double standards of the Democrat Party have kicked into overdrive. Get a load of Governor Nancy Pelosi’s Nephew’s latest plan to stop the spread of the Chinese coronavirus in his state now that the coronavirus is not spreading there because it’s hot and sunny outside.
California is now beginning to separate families when one person tests positive for the virus. Under this common-sense plan, the authorities are undergoing “sensitivity training” so that they will know how to explain to families that it is for their own good when they snatch family members, including children, out of their homes.
This compassionate program will involve locking asymptomatic kids in cages until they no longer test positive for the virus. Once they have recovered from the virus, which could take months, you will get to be reunited with your family member who was snatched from your home by the government. So lucky!
You might be wondering how the government will know whose house to go to in order to forcibly test them for the Chinese coronavirus. They will know whose house to go to thanks to the power of Google.
The California government will be working with the tech giant to conduct smartphone “contact tracing.” If a person tests positive for the virus and you happened to have your cellphone with you when you walked near them at the grocery store, county health officials will be knocking on your door to forcibly test you for the Chinese coronavirus.
I don’t know about you, but I think Californians should feel truly fortunate that their state government is tracking their every move and is willing to come straight to their front door in order to protect them from the Chinese virus. #Caring!
That is a level of protection that most governors wouldn’t even consider extending to their citizens. It just goes to show that Nancy Pelosi’s Nephew will go the extra mile when it comes to protecting every single person from a disease that has a less than 1% chance of killing you if you are under the age of 70.
Why, just imagine if Nancy Pelosi’s Nephew was Joe Biden’s vice president! Then, the entire country would get to experience the tender, loving mercies of having such an incredible woman of science watching over us.
So far, the pilot program for the Google contact tracing, snatching people from their homes, separating families and locking kids in cages is only operational in Ventura County, California. State and county health officials aren’t releasing numbers yet, so we don’t know how many people have been snatched from their homes, forcibly separated from their families and locked in cages. But they are doing it. Compassionately, of course, thanks to the sensitivity training of the snatchers. Unlike President Trump, who foolishly wanted to reopen the American economy a month ago, the Democrats are on the job. They’re here to protect you. They may be forcing you to wear a mask in public in your community, but their mask is definitely all the way off. And you should remember how they are treating the American people in November when it comes time to vote.