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Americans Gloriously Burn Down Bill de Blasio’s Snitch Hotline

As we’ve been repeatedly pointing out through these shutdowns, the really scary thing about the situation is not the virus itself. It’s the creepy new authoritarianism that many of America’s mayors and governors are suddenly displaying. Some cities have Made in China drones flying around to scare people into staying indoors. Others, like New York City under Mayor Bill De Blasio, have set up “snitch” hotlines so that Democrats can turn in their neighbors if they dare to defy to the stay-at-home orders.

Most Americans have caught onto the big scam by now. Unless you live in an area where you are forced to take the subway to work or to buy groceries, such as New York City or northern New Jersey, this virus is less dangerous than seasonal flu. Even during the shutdown, hundreds of people still jam onto the subway cars in New York to go to their essential jobs or to shop for essentials. THAT’S WHY NEW YORK CITY IS BEING HIT SO HARD BY THE VIRUS. They’re all breathing the same air and getting a heavier viral dose when they do encounter a person that has it.

As a result, New York City and northern New Jersey have 44% of all virus cases in the US. If you subtract New York and New Jersey from the numbers, America as a nation is doing far better than any European country right now. We have more space than other countries. One of the hidden luxuries that we all enjoy is our blessed space outside of the urban hellholes in blue states, where the liberal ideas of public transportation and reusable shopping bags have turned out to be a death sentence in a pandemic.

Most of the country is ready to reopen, but Democrat mayors and governors are just having too much fun bossing us around. Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti got the party started by telling the public that during the coronavirus outbreak, snitches won’t get stitches – snitches will get checks! Garcetti set up a tip line so that people in Los Angeles, where a staggering 50% of the population is now on unemployment, can rat out their neighbors if they go outside for some sunshine and fresh air.

After five years of calling Donald Trump and his supporters Nazis, the actual Nazism has circled back around and landed squarely on the Democrats. It’s weird how that keeps happening!

Not to be out-tyrannied, failed presidential candidate Mayor Bill De Blasio set up an even jazzier tip line for New York City residents to rat out their neighbors to the authorities. De Blasio’s plan was a tip line where users could text smartphone pictures of their neighbors breaking the rules. Take that, other failed presidential wannabe Garcetti!

And then a glorious thing happened.

Men from all across America dropped their trousers in unison, snapped a photo of their Nadler, and texted it to the tip line. It was just like the Boston Tea Party, but instead of dumping tea in a harbor, patriots sent NSFW photos to the mayor of a city that banned large sodas.

Other patriots responded by texting photos of Bill De Blasio going to the gym in violation of his own shutdown order. The tip line also received a ton of photos of middle fingers. One Twitter user added a Hitler moustache to De Blasio making the announcement and sent it straight back to the tip line.

Man, I love this country!

Eventually De Blasio’s “turn in your neighbors if you think they might be happier than you” hotline received so many inappropriate photos and middle fingers that it had to be shut down. That’s how you do it, people!

Well… don’t take photos of your Nadler, because that’s weird. But push back against these Hitler wannabes who keep imposing nuttier and nuttier restrictions on us.

Americans complied with the unprecedented shutdown orders because we trusted these leaders that it was for a good cause. We didn’t want our healthcare system to become so overwhelmed that it would collapse. We’ve tried the shutdown thing, we’ve stayed at home, we’ve worn the masks outdoors and so on. Ramping up the authoritarianism was never part of the deal. And now that the virus has turned out to be a serious problem in only a portion of two of our 48 states, it’s time to reopen and move on.

So, keep pushing back when and where you can. America can’t survive much longer if everything remains shut down just because New York and New Jersey are having a hard time.


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