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Pierre Delecto Would Never Storm the Secret Basement Impeachment Inquisition

30 House Republicans staged a sit-in inside the secretive House Intelligence Committee’s basement impeachment inquisition room. Intel Committee Chairman Adam Schiff (D-CA) fled his own hearing in tears. Someone brought the Republicans 17 pizzas and some big bags of Chick Fil A. Schiff has unlawfully barred the minority party from participating in his secret basement inquisition, so they have stormed the room and are refusing to leave. As usual, Pierre Delecto does not approve.

Some Never-Trumper named Laura Cooper, who works at the Pentagon, was scheduled to testify in front of Schiff’s inquisition. Her testimony was delayed for several hours while Schiff dried his tears, put on his big boy panties and mustered up the courage to tell Republicans to leave.

Who’s Laura Cooper, you might wonder? Oh, she’s just some career bureaucrat trying to overrule the 63 million people who voted for Donald Trump in 2016. No big deal, so you can totally see why Adam Schiff would want to hold the hearings in complete secrecy.

Schiff has been conducting his secret inquisition in the House Intel Committee’s “Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility,” or SCIF. All the Republicans brought their cell phones and electronic devices into the SCIF, which is hilarious. After the GOP left, Cooper’s testimony was further delayed because secret room had to be swept for bugs again. Hahahaha!

One of the great delights in life during the eight years that Donald Trump will be in the White House is watching Republicans learn to turn the Democrat Party’s childish antics against them. Democrats are the ones who broke the social contract with Americans, and yet they are shocked – shocked! – anytime conservatives turn around bash them with the same stick that the Dems brought to the fight.

Adam Schiff is threatening to file ethics complaints against the 30 patriots who disrupted his secret dog and pony show. You can rest assured that CNN, MSNBC and the New York Times will declare the Republicans’ actions as “unprecedented,” “illegal,” and “damaging to national security.”

And for more analysis, here’s our favorite Republican, Mitt ‘Pierre Delecto’ Romney to tell us why the Republican disruption of the impeachment inquiry is tantamount to treason and does not reflect True Conservatism.

But is this unprecedented or illegal? Why, it seems like it was only in 2016, at the tail end of Obama’s failed presidency, when minority Democrats staged a sit-in on the full House floor. Obama was demanding that the then-Republican majority pass the “No-Fly, No-Buy” Act.

This was a bill that would allow Barack Obama to personally place individuals on the federal government’s no-fly list and simultaneously place them on the FBI’s background check list to prohibit them from buying firearms.

There was no due process for Americans under the No-Fly, No-Buy Act. You didn’t even have to be convicted of a crime. Obama could have placed anyone on those lists simply because he didn’t like them. (Gosh, I wonder what Obama would have used that law for?)

Anyway, majority Republicans hated the bill and refused to pass it. So, Democrats staged a sit-in on the House floor and shut down Congress’ work on behalf of the entire country. Rep. Jerald Nadler (D-NY), using his best drama-queen voice, said the House of Representatives “is drenched in blood and the only way we can cleanse it is if the Speaker allows us to vote on this legislation.”

In a political statement that literally made no sense, but which made me laugh anyway, Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX) screamed from the House floor during the 2016 sit-in, “Break the shackles!”

For staging a sit-in and disrupting the entire Congress, the media hailed the Democrats as heroes on par with the American patriots who threw the boxes of tea in Boston Harbor. They were risking their political careers for the good of all mankind and blah blah blah.

Now that the shoe is on the other foot with Republicans storming the basement inquisition hearings, the Democrats have no response. “How dare they… uh… do the exact same thing we do all the time!”

It would be nice if we could go back to the old way of doing stuff in Congress, where everyone was polite and followed the rules. I’m generally in favor of rules and politeness. But the Democrats are the ones who put these new rules in place, so they’re the ones who will have to put the genie back in the bottle.

Until that happens, we’ll be cheering on the Trump rebels in Congress who have the guts to use the left’s own underhanded tactics against them.


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