Latest Trump Accuser to Christine Blasey-Ford: Hold My Beer

Here’s a serious question for the Democrat Party: Could America please have a breather from you guys propping up mentally ill women who falsely accuse Republicans of raping them?

Seriously, it feels like Christine Blasey-Ford was in the Senate Judiciary Committee just yesterday, regaling us with her laughably fake tale of Brett Kavanaugh making a clumsy pass at her in a darkened room, 30-some years ago, at a location she couldn’t remember, at a time she couldn’t remember, and with no witnesses to corroborate her story.

Seriously, Democrats – you’re going to wear out the trick if you do it too much!

But here we go again. Former “journalist” E. Jean Carroll has published her autobiography in which she describes how Donald Trump “raped” her in a New York City department store in the 1990s. Her book is titled, “What Do We Need Men For? A Modest Proposal,” so you know exactly where she’s coming from.

Rather than relying on anything the media says, I went ahead and read Ms. Carroll’s description of the event. There’s an excerpt from the book published in New York magazine if you’re interested. I’m no psychiatrist but let me reassure you after reading a chapter of her book that E. Jean Carroll appears to be a straight-up dingbat lunatic. Here are a few things that jumped out at me.

First, everyone rapes E. Jean Carroll. Apparently, Ms. Carroll is so irresistible and physically attractive that if you should find yourself near her in a room, an elevator, a department store, a national forest, a graduation ceremony, a coffee shop, at the beach, on top of a mountain, scuba diving at the bottom of the ocean, or any other place, you will rape her. All of the boys raped her on the playground when she was little. All the boys in high school and college raped her. All of her bosses and co-workers throughout her career raped her. And if you meet her, you will rape her too. Seems credible!

Next, she writes that the genuinely crazy “gonzo” journalist Hunter S. Thompson raped her in a hot tub when she was interviewing him. She says Thompson kept yelling “Off with your pants!” as he sliced her pants off with a long knife in the hot tub. Who wears pants in a hot tub? Professional journalist E. Jean Carroll, that’s who!

Why would you doubt the details of her story? Believe all women!

Carroll’s description of her attempted rape in an elevator by CBS executive Les Moonves really goes off the rails. Again, I’m no psychologist, but this event sounds like a person who has had a serious psychotic break. The warning signs are definitely there. I’ll let you read it for yourself and make up your own mind.

Finally, there is E. Jean Carroll’s “rape” in a department store in the 1990s by real estate mogul Donald Trump. The event she describes is extremely graphic… and also physically and anatomically impossible. It literally reads like this lady has never had sex and doesn’t know how all the parts are supposed to fit together when a couple sneaks into a changing room in a department store. Human bodies just don’t work that way.

Conclusion: She’s cray-cray.

A separate mental illness, known as Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS), makes it impossible to vet the credibility of people who have their own form of psychosis. This explains why noted TDS sufferer Anderson Cooper of CNN rushed to put E. Jean Carroll on the air with her obviously fake story to bash President Trump.

Poor Anderson Cooper! He may be a CIA operative and heir to Rockefeller fortune, but he has next to zero knowledge about women (or that some women lie about sex and/or rape for attention). So, both of CNN’s remaining viewers were subjected to a baffling segment in which a gay CNN anchor with no knowledge of women, interviewed a woman who has quite possibly never had sex. It was a train wreck, to say the least.

When Ms. Carroll tells Anderson Cooper that “Most people think rape is sexy. Think of the fantasies,” he just about fell out of his chair. All that Anderson Cooper could do to save the interview was to cut to a commercial break as E. Jean Carroll starts to flirt with him because she doesn’t seem to realize he’s gay. “You’re very interesting to talk to!” she blurts out as they cut to commercial break.

Anderson Cooper doesn’t know it yet, but there will likely be a chapter devoted to him in E. Jean Carroll’s next book. The chapter will be titled, “The Time That Loveable Rogue Anderson Cooper Raped Me on Live TV Because I’m Just So Irresistible.”

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