Nothing could prove to Americans that the illegal alien lobby is a gigantic group of welfare whores and morally bankrupt Democrat voters than the latest stunt pulled by the Honduran army that’s illegally camping out in Tijuana. Oh, sorry, we’re supposed to call it a “migrant caravan” so that we don’t hurt the feelings of a giant group of terrorists and child molesters.
Did we say terrorists? Yes, we’ll get to that in a moment, but first, check out the latest outrageous demand from the welfare horde: After storming into the US consulate in Tijuana last week, the migrant caravan’s organizers are demanding to either be let into America immediately, otherwise we have to cut every single “migrant” a check for $50,000 and they’ll go back home.
This demand for reparations is especially brazen coming from people who’ve never lived in America, when you consider that the American people have never supported reparations for our own black citizens. At least our own blacks have a sort-of logical case for the US government paying them reparations. Some of their ancestors were enslaved. What’s the argument that the Honduran welfare army is making? Give us money, otherwise we’ll sneak in and take it from you in the form of welfare?
Here’s a hot tip for Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, by the way: Don’t pay the extortion demands of the migrant horde. Because as we’ve learned recently, courtesy of CNN and MSNBC, if you pay an extortionist’s demands, it is actually a felony campaign finance violation that will result in a two-plus year investigation by the totally unsupervised, unaccountable Special Counsel Robert Mueller. Just sayin’.
Hey, Democrats! Here’s a deal we’d be willing to make with you in exchange for the wall. (To our conservative friends, bear with us: This will sound crazy at first, but the math works out.)
In exchange for building the wall, we’ll pay reparations to every non-Hispanic black person in America. In exchange for the completion of a contiguous, impassable barrier wall on our southern border, every black person living in America today will receive an annual check for $1,000 from the federal government for a period of 50 years.
Would that plan be expensive? Oh, you bet it would! It would cost around $38 billion per year. But in exchange for that amount of money, we would get to keep our country instead of being overrun by illegal aliens, and we would still save about $120 billion per year over what we’re paying in welfare, food stamps, health care and education for all of the illegal aliens. We’re guessing that Pelosi and Schumer would still reject that offer, since American blacks have been all but shoved aside by the Democrat Party for their new Latino pet project.
A terrible blow was struck against the Honduran welfare horde and the media’s narrative when one of the caravan organizers was demanding reparations last week. The caravan organizer huffily stated, “It may seem like a lot of money to you. But it is a small sum compared to everything the United States has stolen from Honduras.” Hahahahaha! Yes, just look around at all of the nice stuff we’ve looted from… Honduras!
Someone at the US Consulate then said, “Hey, aren’t you Alfonso Guerrero Ulloa from Honduras?” To which the caravan organizer shouted, “Andale! Andale! Arriba! Arriba!” and vanished in a cloud of dust and some zippy sound effects.
It turns out the caravan organizer, Alfonso Guerrero Ulloa, was a member of the far-left, Che Guevara-loving, communist terrorist Honduran group known as the Popular Revolutionary Forces-Lorenzo Zelaya back in the 1980s. In addition to raping and torching remote Honduran villages, the group hijacked some airplanes and did the other usual commie terrorist stuff that all Latin American commie groups did back in the 1980s.
In the group’s largest terrorist attack, caravan organizer Alfonso Guerrero Ulloa is suspected of planting a bomb in a Chinese restaurant in Honduras in 1987. The resulting blast injured 6 American soldiers who were having lunch. Ulloa fled to Mexico after the bombing and was granted asylum, and to this day the Mexican government has labeled him as a “freedom fighter.”
To sum up, the Honduran migrant caravan’s organizer is a suspected terrorist bomber. The next time CNN’s Chris Cuomo starts weeping on air for the migrants while denouncing Donald Trump as a racist, just remember this fact. If the organizer of the caravan is a terrorist bomber, you can only imagine what else is hiding in the ranks of his army.